reading

"It resembled a dizzyness such as might have come from watching the swaying of the log, but it was not that. Probaly it was more a mental vertigo, an uneasyness in which my inner equilibrium was at the point of being destroyed by the sight of his every perilous movement. And this instability was made even more procarious by the fact that within it two contrary forces were pulling at me, contending for supremacy. One was the instinct of self-preservation. The- second which was bent, even more profoundly, more intensely, upon the complete disintegration of my inner balance- was a compulsion towards suicide, that subtle and secret impulse to which a person often unconsiously surrenders themselves."

Dont take this to a machabe place... I feel like Mishima Yukio's Writing especially in "Confessions of a Mask" is just honest. "Confessions..." had been thought as a fiction work until near Yukio's death when the compulsion to share with the audience that much of this work is acutally auto-biographical, the quote i listed here prior is beautiful and somewhat contradicts the melancholy, the writing i feel plays a jump from a sense of the unknown to the warm comfort of something familiar though new. <3 Beautiful Modern literature, i feel it is supremely honest but also supremely troubled. His history is sad, but his gift is undenyable.



http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yukio_Mishima